


How to handle Information

by everybodyknowsme



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Confessions, Drunken Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2020-05-30 17:18:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19407817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everybodyknowsme/pseuds/everybodyknowsme
Summary: Lena is not good at handling new Information. So she made a mistake that she now has to confess to her former best friend





	1. Chapter 1

If anybody were to confront her, Lena would readily admit, that she overreacted. Instead of evaluating the context of this unwanted information, she instead had started isolating herself from her friends.  
Only while working on a trap, she considered gathering context. Or more honestly, she wiretapped all of her friends to determine the ideal placement of the trap. And so she forced herself to learn the context.  
Which now meant she forced the confrontation on herself.

“Ms. Luthor? You asked to see me?”  
“Yes, please come in.”  
“What do you need to tell me? You said it's 'not urgent but important'.”  
“Yes. You might want to sit down. And have a glass. Does this work?”  
Lena handed Supergirl a bottle. She read the label and found, that if she drank multiple glasses, she would probably destroy the building on her way out.  
“Do you have a small glass?”  
Lena gave her a glass and motioned her again to sit down. She noticed, that not only was Lena's glass half empty, but there was already one empty bottle next to the table. She was aware, that this bottle had not been full, a few days ago, but she was impressed nonetheless that Lena held herself this well, despite being definitely drunk.  
Lena waited, her glass in her hand, for Supergirl to get ready to drink and said: “I have to apologize, Kara.”  
Kara ate her glass.  
Lena was prepared. She handed her a napkin, then a glass of water and a bowl to spit into.

Before Kara could start rambling, Lena continued: “Lex told me. It was his final attack against me, and I fell for it, like a champ. Instead of considering the context, I focused on the lie and got ready to take revenge.”  
There was an awkward silence as Kara took it in.  
“Lena, I swear, I wanted to tell you, but...”  
“That's what I meant, when I said context. In a bubble, you lied to me and Lex told me the truth. But you kept the truth from me, because you thought you would hurt me by telling me and considered yourself selfish for wanting to tell me, while Lex told me the truth to hurt me in an act of revenge.”  
“You said, you fell for it and that you had to apologize. If you had tried to kill me, I would be dead.”  
“I didn't exactly figure this one out on my own.”  
“Who did you tell?!”  
“Don't be ridiculous! I wasn't that stupid. That said, I did violate the privacy of everybody that considered me a friend.”  
“What do you mean, like that you that you bugged our apartments.”  
“Like bugged pretty much everything.”  
Now, that she could no longer keep anything back Lena slumped down, her composure completely gone. She emptied her glass and explained, now no longer bothering to not slur her speech.  
“For weeks I've been in this hole, where I saw every act of kindness towards me as evil deception. I planted the bugs to find out who else knew and how to best 'pay you back'. And so I listened. And not a single day went by without you debating to tell me. And every time you came the conclusion, that I needed Kara Danvers and that you were being selfish wanting to tell me, that my best friend is Supergirl. Because that's you. And every time anybody suggests not telling me, keeping the status quo, you tell them, that I have proven to be trustworthy and all.”  
Lena was crying now and the only thing that kept Kara's eyes dry was still the shock of the information, that was still being processed.  
“After I came to terms with the fact, that Supergirl is literally the best person in all of existence, I thought of wiping my memory.”  
“What?!”  
“I didn't do it. I mean obviously. But that that was my first idea,...”  
Lena buried her head in one of the pillows of the couch in a move that did not fit her. Kara slowly and carefully reached out and hugged her, pulling her back into an upright position.  
“Why did you want to wipe your memory?”  
“If I didn't remember, I wouldn't have to justify what I did...”  
“Did you something else, besides planting a few bugs?”  
“I didn't just 'plant a few bugs'! I hacked into the DEO-security system! I hid 16 bugs in your clothes alone!”  
“If you didn't want to talk about that, you could have just removed them and pretend it never happened. Besides I've seen you take responsibility for far worse things, things you didn't even do! Remember when gave a bunch of kids lead-poisoning and framed you?”  
“So what? I just wanted everything to be, like it was before, so you could tell me on your own terms.”  
“You said, that you were obsessed with this for weeks. You would have to wipe this entire time, give a black-out over multiple weeks, so I could tell you on my terms?”  
“Yes, that was my original plan, but...”  
“That's so you! You are willing to sacrifice yourself for the good of others every time it has the slightest chance of helping.”  
“Not like you...”  
“No, more than I am! Remember when Lillian framed you for her escape and then kidnapped you? You didn't know, who I was. Back then I was just some hero to you. But when I walked into that trap, you tried to fight a cyborg to protect me. And just now you told me you were looking into performing a dangerous procedure on yourself, so I could give you important information 'on my own terms'. Do you know, what it did to Alex, when she had her mind wiped to protect my identity from Lockwood?”  
Now both of them were crying. They stayed like this for some time, just quietly crying into each others arms.


	2. Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Season 5 started…  
> Spoilers, I guess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I watched Episode one and my Feelings were along the lines of:  
> "Why do I do this to myself?"  
> "Best Red Herring ever!"  
> "Oh God, why?"

"You did not send the files Ms. Luthor."  
"Yes. Hub, please list the three most likely reasons for Kara to not tell me, she's Supergirl, up until today."  
"You stated multiple times, that…"  
"Disregard everything I said in the matter. I want you to only use factual evidence. Recordings from my Office or the public domain. There should be plenty of material."  
"A moment Ms. Luthor…. the results:  
Explanation one: Ms. Danvers initially did not disclose her secret due to the sensitivity of the Information. The motivation changed about three weeks later. she feared for some time, that she would introduce additional dangers to your life. During the altercations with your brother she learned, that this would not be an issue, but feared for the Revelation would jeopardize your at the time precarious mental state. Up until recently she was stuck in a vicious cycle of believing you'd be better of with your best friend and Supergirl being seperate People and fearing your reaction after postponing for so long.  
Likelyhood, that Explanation one is the case, disregarding the records from this evening: 83%  
Explanation two: Due to your behavior Ms. Danvers did not consider you to be trustworthy enough. Telling you would introduce an uncontrollable variable to the general safety.  
Likelyhood, that Explanation two is the case, disregarding the records from this evening: 12%  
Explanation three: Ms. Danvers assumed you had picked up on various hints at some Point in the past and voluntary and deliberately choose to treat her private and Supergirl-persona as different People.  
Likelyhood, that Explanation two is the case, disregarding the records from this evening: 3%  
If the confession is taken into account, only Explanation one remains at above 1% likelyhood and infact goes up to…"  
"That's what I was afraid of. Please put all Ppojects I opened in regards to Supergirl on hold until further notice."  
"Ms. Luthor…?"  
"The basis for my motivation was false. I'll have to reconsider my goals and evaluate, whether what I have done so far has any use now."


	3. About that drama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena is an utilitarian. Her feelings change nothing.

„We have to talk.  
Again.“  
That's what the text-messages said. While a small part in the back of Kara's head wondered if Lena had never removed her contact or if she had searched for her number to send the texts, she was mainly concerned, if she could risk talking to her and her former friend had to say.  
“About what?”  
“Lena is typing ...”  
“Lena is typing ...”  
“Lena is typing ...”  
Ten seconds. Normally her responses came quite quickly and were short.  
“Lena is typing ...”  
“I have to apologize.”  
Kara took some time to wonder, whether Lena had ever apologized about anything mayor. There were smaller things and some things like not telling her her plan with Medusa and Lillian’s arrest. However she couldn't recall Lena changing her mind about something she had done and then apologizing.  
“Want me to come over?”  
“Yes, thank you.”  
-  
“You said, you wanted to apologize?”  
Lena was sitting on her desk, like she always was, but for once her computer was switched off. That said her whiskey wasn't far. Kara could tell, that whatever had caused Lena to text her, had occupied her for some time. The rings under her eyes, because Lena chronically under-prioritized her own well being, were not covered by make-up. Her hair was not cleanly combed and open, but tied in a knot, with lose strands regardless.  
She stood up: “Yes... I... Sorry for acting, like you betrayed me.”  
“Just like that?”  
“I know, it's not that easy. Not even you could forgive me that easy. And there's another problem, than what I've said.”  
“Your mind-control plan.”  
“It's not mind-control, I'll merely boost empathy to the point … Yes. My mind-control plan. I've already done things I can't take back, even after the universe ceased to exist for some time. I did rethink both our relationship and my actions, since I learned about your identity. And I came to the conclusion, that I was right for the wrong reasons.”  
“WHAT?”  
“My motivation were feelings of betrayal and anger, that I now realized to be unfounded and wrong. However my goal is still correct and according to the more pessimistic projections even necessary to civilizational survival.”  
“Again. What?!”  
“I am aware, that you're not going to agree with me, any time soon. I just wanted to apologize for the mistreatment I've given you and hope that we won't have to hurt each other over this. You can call me ruthless, but when you have the time, you should check up on Steve Lomeli in Stryker's.”  
–-  
Two weeks ago:  
“Hello Cat.”  
“Hello Lena, what have you been up to?”  
“Saving the world, pushing the human frontier, you know? The usual.”  
“You are one of three people on this planet, I tolerate this kind of talk from, and one of them would never use it.”  
“Is the other one you?”  
“Come on, I didn't invite you for coffee for us to stroke each other's egos. What's going on?”  
“You're asking because of CatCo.”  
“Of course I'm asking because of CatCo. First you buy, to get it away from Edge's grubby fingers and now you're letting Andrea use it as Obsidian North's ad-channel?  
When I talked to Snapper, I was this close to hopping into a plane and taking it back!”  
“Why didn't you?”  
“William Dey. He is one of the best investigative journalists I know. Snapper and I tried to get him for years. And now he's working for CatCo. Either Andrea is doing something really right, or he doesn't want to work for her.”  
“You think, he's investigating her?”  
“Don't try to change the subject: Why did you sell?”  
“I had to. From a financial ...”  
“Oh, please you don't sell a vanity project for profit. My guess is, it has something to do with our favorite reporter.”  
“Kara?”  
Ms. Grant simply lifted an eyebrow.  
“How strongly do you want to know?”  
“I have enough free time on my hands, to congratulate James in person for his new newspaper.”  
“Fine. I found out Kara had been keeping an important secret from me. She's been going behind my back ever since we've met.”  
“What secret?”  
“Excuse me?”  
“Not counting her crushes, which she mostly isn't aware of herself, Kara has like three secrets. Which one are you so upset about?”  
“It's not my place to … “  
“Come on. Don't make me guess. So about her father and his disappearance. I know it has to do with the DEO but you probably know better than I do. Supergirl barely qualifies as a secret and … “  
She noticed Lena's face twitch, when she tried to hide her emotions.  
“You really didn't know?”  
“She even told you.”  
Ms. Grant's face became a grimace of shock.  
“You see her more often a day, then I did, when she was my secretary, and you're telling me, you had to be told to notice?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Apart from the fact, that the look absolutely identical and you see them both often and up close enough to compare their cologne? How about Kara suddenly vanishing from your view coincides with Supergirl's appearance and the other way around? How about how knowledgeable she is about all things kryptonian? How defensive one is when the other is mentioned? And I seem to recall a rather personal first draft of her article about your alien-quick-test. Tell me, what happened there?”  
“She was spoke strongly against it, did a 'look over there' and some time later I was informed, that a few wires were burnt out in the prototype.”  
Lena thought back at all the obvious hints, that Kara was at the very least an alien.  
“I probably sank quite a bit in your standing. I must take me for an idiot.”  
“That depends strongly on your answer to the next question, but let me first give you some context: I first put the picture together a few weeks after Supergirl showed up. I confronted Kara: Supergirl couldn't be distracted by bringing me coffee. She either proof, that she wasn't Supergirl, or I'd fire her, for not being committed enough. Kara came to my office with a Supergirl-Doppelganger. You might know, she's friends with a shapeshifter. From then on I pretended to be deceived and it was never brought up again. This it, where it gets odd: Even though there should be enough hints for her to know, that I'm not fooled, she seems to think, that I am and the only explanation I have, is that she doesn't want to know.”  
“So you think, I didn't realize, because I didn't want to?”  
“That's the question: Why were you so hurt, by her not telling you?”  
And before Lena could answer, Ms. Grant left, with her coffee still half full.


End file.
